The Flux (Round 7) Weather Report

[AeonFlux]

The Flux weather Report proudly sponsored by............



Guaranteed to work against Daughters of Beaches key forwards!





Flux Weather
After the weekend it seems that there are dark dark clouds hanging over Moorabbin.
That's to the Citysoutheast,
However, go Citywest, and it's Sunny.


This week's match ass essment and staffing issues:
Unfortunately all the various members of the ass essment panel are either in mourning, in denial, incontinent, or in hiding from Ted. So there's no match report from any of them.

After huge response to Saynt Nosher's recent match ass essment, especially from the Pres' Fred Bassat, we tried asking him again. Unfortunately Nosher is busy lobbying Gestapo HQ's soon to be outgoing Reich Fuhrer to erect a statue of Saynt Seb outside the MCG. Or failing that, somewhere in the Dockedland precinct.

We even tried to get an intel' report out of the Russian embassy up in Can'tberra, But after talking to a couple of ex-AFL footballers, the word is, comrade Rosputin is on a 'special operation'. He's scrambling to keep his girl out of trouble after her recent YouTube posting. Seems comrade Natasha has got the passive-aggressive thing happening really well. Quite scathing. Ouch!



Though Sainstaional's favourite comrade could have even more to worry about.
http://saintsational.net/viewtopic.php? ... 3#p1952453

But then came the revelation as pointed out to us by Firey! Thanks Firey.

Recently back from tending to his avarian collection, and more recently back from a (by some accounts) well earned holiday, there's only one person for the job...

The good:
- Several areas to work on , yet despite these, if we'd jut kicked even half of our 'gimme' shots at goal, then we'd have won easily. So in other words, despite some flaws in our game plan, we still easily created enough opportunities to win. That's the big positive from the night.
- More good signs from Windy and N-W-Aeon-M.
- Saynt Nosher will be able to continue to feel vindicated.
- (As far as I know) nobody ran into Paddy.  :stinger: 

Issues:
- We lost a game we should have won.
- Goal-bloody-kicking-bloody accuracy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   :o   That's the number one thing that cost us the win. 
- Those conditions didn't suit us. Very slippery. For the last, I don't know, half maybe(?) of the match, there was close enough to not a single one grab overhead mark, or contested pack mark, taken. So we ended up several running players short when it hit the ground. This is why we didn't win despite our wayward goal kicking.
- We didn't learn from last week. Campbell did not dominate in the ruck against Powell-Pepper, and then when it hit the ground we were one on-baller short from that match up. The availability of Hayes or The Marshall would have fixed that, but, of course...
- Joe King, once the footy hit the ground was a liability as far as being able to pressure their defenders.
-  We were also short another two on-ballers/running players. Windy did some nice things. N-W-Aeon-M did even more nice things. Their futures are bright... and exciting.  B)  But, as has been the case for a couple of weeks now, we simply aren't getting enough out of them. So that's another two we were short.
- In the first half, before it got too slippery to take overhead marks, there was a period when Joe King was on Aliir Squared. Joe should have played infront!!! And when the ball wasn't being kicked to him, Joe should have also positioned himself between Aliir Squared and the contest, to prevent all those intercept marks Aliir Squared took in that first half.
- They upped the pressure, and their running players got on top. But unlike in previous games, we didn't clamp down on that till late in the final quarter. It then looked liked we'd salvaged the situation. We snatched back the lead, and had the ball pinned in our half of the ground, Unfortunately, they finally broke through at the death... 


The Solution:
Rebuild! Hit the draft! Membrey, Steele, Marshall, Hill, Howard and King have had long enough to win us a flag. And they haven't delivered. But they all have currency. I say we package them up for two first round draft picks. This is our chance to get another Clarke/Coffield draft coup.

We have a debt. We can't win away from home at god-forsaken venues that no one has ever heard of. I say kill two birds with the one stone. We sell all our home games for the next three years (with an option to extend) to play at whatever frontier conquest venues the AFL dictates. That'll slash our debt, and toughen up the players.

I'm sick of the mediocrity. I'm sick of the lack of vision. It's time all tru e Saints' fans stand up and demand the club starts doing things differently!

Fluff

Uhmmm. Thanks Sunny.




Right, now that's out of the way, time to look at some Saintsaintional posts.


But firstly, lets establish the importance of correct spellling:

There's only one r in Huntr Clark ffs.

At least you get the spelling of the players names right.

(Ryan Bybes thanked the poster for this post.)

Byrne leading possession winner with 23 possessions and three goals

Getting closer. Hint. He's a plural.


Point of order posts of the week:

Like many, I’ve been a big critic of Seb. But is there anything better than admitting you were wrong under the current circumstances? Love the way he’s playing this year

No Moods. You, and many others, including here at the Fluxed Up Report, were not wrong! 

The criticisms of Seb have been spot on! Seb is strong, highly skilled, and also (though many don't realise it) very very fast. But what really pisses people off is that Seb (his first B&F year aside) has been incredibly lazy, unthinking, and just plain uncaring about his disposal. That's been highly damaging for the team. And is simply unforgivable for such a gifted footballer.

But.

Seems others at St Kilda agree with that ass essment. Clearly the blow torch has been applied. And to his credit, Seb has responded. (Also to his credit, he did a similar thing with his self-confessed major endurance running issues early in his career.)

As a result...............just look at the difference!

Sinkers. Same thing. We've been incredibly pissed off with him. Such a talent going to waste due to thought-less disposal. But the penny dropped, and look how he's playing now! A star of the competition. Hell, he's even sticking tackles. Whereas previously he was literally worse than Lonie.

A bit of thought. A bit of care. Wow! Such a difference it makes.



Theory of the week:
Big.Marmot, Sainstational's favourite furry retired local sporting legend, and now forum footballing shock jock, is actually Seb Ross.

Think about it Saintsationalists. Whilst admirably prolific in their output, both have been (rightly) criticised over aspects of their game that have been sloppy - spelling, grammar and delivery. And both have recently responded by working to tidy-up those areas. Now, perhaps Big.Marmot could even help out the wayward P666????? (Ok. On second thoughts, perhaps not.......... )





http://saintsational.net/viewtopic.php? ... 6#p1950536
Oih! Teffers, we love your work. But. Please. Do not take the name of the great Rodger <swoon> in vain.



Some posters complain about our lack of leg speed. Brad Hill is our quickest player.

Whilst certainly a quick player, we'd have our money on the following over Hill in a sprint. In order..............
Jack Peris (if he ends up getting a game).
Ryan Bybes. This bloke is Jack Steven quick (and without the pudding).
Our favourite here on the Flunky Report - Jimmy the Cat. People don't seem to realise that this bloke is greased lightening. And a star! Arguably a decent battle between him and Members' for the title of most underrated player amongst Saintas' fans.
And don't antagonise Nosher by forgetting his man Seb Ross. A couple of seasons back the Seb recorded something like the second highest match day running speed of any player in the league. Yep, we were surprised. (Maybe even Nosher was too?)
And last year Clarke Kent did the same........ though that was probably running away from the footy.
If over 100m - Joe King.

Honourable mention to our new star 'recruit' from 2021. who is so far showing no second year blues. In fact, he's getting better....... Dan the man MacKenzie. (Would love to know how/how/what is responsible for turning this bloke's footy around.)



We learn something every day. Trev from the Boat is an old seadog slaty muso'. 

I recall stating to my dad in the early 70's how skilled our WA players were such as Young, Dupa, Reynolds and my fav McIntosh.
He said its because they grow up playing on better surfaces that the Victorians and hone their skills better.

After pondering that for a few minutes I said well our Tassie players were pretty skillful too, particularly Stewart who would have been then at Richmond.

The old man didn't have an answer for that one

There is truth in all of that, WA grounds have good sandy drainage. Some of the footage of the Moorabbin mud might have been attractive to the Taswegians.

Remember, Stewie grew up in Queenstown playing on a gravel surface. An excellent football education in the importance of keeping your feet.

But even if posted in tri-stereo, not sure that makes it true. The Doc never played in the old Western Tasmanian Football Association. But pretty cool sounds there anyway Trev.


The Doc began his senior footy with six lazy goals for East Devonport in a pre-season practice match - at the age of 12. Then his mum found out and grounded him.


And George Young. After making 125 for WA in his second Sheffield Shield match, to the delight of Loris and many other Saints' fans, the great George Young chose footy, and the Saints, over cricket. The bloke was star. In good and bad Saints' teams. Absolute crime against humanity that he's not in our Team of the Century.



Common sense posts of the week:

Darragh Joyce dragged it in and payed on it like a clueless moron

If he was financially literate he'd have used a credit card and paid it off at the end of the month.

We lost a game of footy. So has every other team. Calm down.

Excellent point Minnie!

This cheese eating surrender monkey attitude to playing away from Melbourne is what cost us Tassie. And gifted Tassie to the Dawks.

Good teams can win anywhere, and in sub-optimal conditions.  

Eight teams have interstate home games. Then there's Girlong. 

So. Good teams have to win anywhere, and in sub-optimal conditions. 

I played more basketball than AFL and choaches had a big impact on improving my skills and thus improving my performances as a player. I think everyone has a valid point here in this thread. BIg Marmot is correct in that players win games not choaches but I have seen a champion team beat a team of champions. For me a team is just not players but also coaches, assistant choaches and support staff. To be successful all must ‘click’ and must operate as a well oiled unit. Coaches will see things that players miss and adjust game strategy and match ups accordingly. Players must also be choachable, one would assume having reached AFL level that they are choachable.

Nailed it! Basically, if good choaching wasn't important, then a team of champions would, by default, also equate to being a champion team.

Aeon Flux perhaps?
Shake the place up

You all know that makes sense.



Connundrum posing post of the week:

Lewis played the entire game on Lewis
Lewis had 8 shots on goal

So, did Lewis win that battle? Or did he break even?



We see what you did there post of the week:

The WHO continues to rate this virus a Pandemic.

That must be why the Saintas' choaching box needed a Substitute.



Nailed it post of the Year!!!!:

Not sure about the 2021 finals but I think I am still scarred from that Good Friday debacle, Essendon last year, the great Cairns collapse, Clark's last two injuries and Roger Fox stopping his reports.

Yes! Bloody yes! All that is wrong with footy at the moment encapsulated right there.



When Big Marmot gets on a roll post of the week:

If I had a choice between Nepean Highway Seaford on the beach and South Rd Moorabbin I’d choose Seaford in a heartbeat!

But your choice was between South Rd Moorabbin and out the back of Seaford on the side of the freeway? Didn't know you did hypotheticals BM(?)




Treasonous post of the week:

> $100 Million deposited into our bank account.
> The whole of Tasmania as our own Academy.

In return for.....

> Change our name to Tasmanian Saints.
> Four away games at the MCG every year.
> Four away games at Docklands every year.
> Three away games interstate every year.
> Six home games in Hobart every year.
> Five home games in Launceston every year.

Would you accept??

Worst thread ever!

Been going on for years and is really sick making.

In Oz the penalty for treason is life imprisonment. And you should be earnestly hoping for this Sunshine. Because, whilst here at the Flummoxed Report we (generally) love your work, after reading this suggestion, Vaas Montengro is looking to pay you a 'visit'. 

(Another plus to make you feel at right at home is that Barwon Prison is west of the city.)




Meanwhile, the Saints' recent recruits are getting down to business. (More signings by the eagle-eyed True Believer.





Astute posts of the week:

Will St Kilda woman’s team get back that player too?

Knowing our luck, yeah probably just after the Bombers poach her.

The irony of a player who would not get an injection going to Essendon is priceless.

We're to help:

Pity is some of them are probably are responsible for the outrageous crap posted on here.

Oh come on . We think you're being a bit harsh on yourself.

I always refer to robbo as FF which stands for fat f***, but since the AFL and people in general are against body shaming, I will now refer to robbo as FF but with it standing for f****** fool.

Might we humbly suggest a compromise? How about that old favourite, FFS?

Flatulent Fat Slug.

I make mistakes.

Scumpiring! The 'interpretation' of the controversial 'hands in the air' ruling has proved to be a real Curly issue for Gestapo HQ.

At the Fuxed Report we put the blame for all the confusion squarely at the feet (boot?) of the AFL. 

Everyone knew and understood the way of the footy world. But then Gestapo HQ went and messed with the natural order by putting the scumpires in all range of coloured clown suit uniforms.

There is only one correct colour for a maggot!!!




Post of the Year!!!!!!!!!

I also liked the look of Sinn prior to the draft but am liking the look of NWM plus Aeon wanted him, good enough for me.

Just realised. Ernie forgot to name the the team changes for next week? Looks like we'll have to chip in for that.

INS:
The Marshall.
Towball
Bybes


OUTSKI:
Campbell
Windy
N-W-Aeon-M
Clarke bloody Kent!!!!!!!!!   

Playing Kent means you are playing one short anyway.

Kent f****** hopeless.

Edit: Yes, we had N-W-Aeon-M being rested. However, after reading Capt CQ Saint's ass essment, particularly of N-W-Aeon-M's play in the water, well we shall bow to that. Who are we to dispute Capt CQ Saint's assessment when it comes to things nautical?


(More) of the good:
The Dreamons are winning, but are sliding closer to a loss. Our loss will further lower their guard, whilst it should fire us up.

We will win!!!

Oh, but we have to start playing on at every opportunity again. We stopped running and became stagnant. Did the same thing towards the end of the Sons of Beaches' game too.


Thoughts, Rodger? <swoon>
Thoughts, Saintsationalists...?


- Aeon.

Dear Aeon,

Take care, and I can’t wait to see you at the footy.

And Aeon honey, as you all know, I love the work of the incomparable (and implacable) Saynt Nosher, but I now also have a soft spot for immeasurable Big Marmot. I hope that we can have plenty more contributions from the both of them in the future.

- 'Fred'.

.

Second worst thread ever!

[SunnyErnie]

[skeptic]

This is is your best work yet

[Ghost Like]

This is is your best work yet

Yes, classy yet understated much like NW(A)M.

[bangaulegend]

Entertaining as always first time I've had a chuckle since Saturday night. Keep up the good work

[Dis Believer]

hahaha, there is something reminiscent of Billy Connolly about Aeon's manner.........