The Fred Basset ITK Report

[AeonFlux]

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The Fred Basset ITK Report


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Aeon's over her hissy fit. But she got so excited over us absolutely slaying that daft that she's no under sedation. Poor petal. So it's another Fred Basset Report. Hooray!

Dearest Aeon and fellow Saintsational peoples,

Firstly. Vale jaxons.

But now you have Fred, your new ITK. Last daft I told you we'd be getting our Academy Kids plus N-W-Aeon-M. And this daft, I told you it'd be Phillipou and...................

Paddy Te-Keeler!


Ok, this is now from back in July, but......check the Top 10 player rankings.
https://www.espn.com/afl/story/_/id/341 ... -no-1-pick

Bassett is a genius.

Amen brother.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a 's')

But fair's fair.
I feel that I must acknowledge Adrian Dildo for choosing Elijah Tsatas, not Phillipou, That will prove to be (yet another) arse-up mistake to add to the Dildo catalogue. (Very tempting to post an image of the bloke, but porn is a no-no. )

And just so you'd all still have a couple of surprises to look forward to, I kept quiet about a couple of others. There's Olli Hotton-to-Trotton. And of course, 'There (he) Go', a new almost ready to go key defender. (I hope that Saintsational clog aficionados amongst you see what I did there. )


TE-KEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!



Ro$$Y the prick (but, now he's our prick ) wanted speed.
Ro$$y the prick (but, now he's our prick ) gets speed.



This bloke has as high a ceiling as anyone in the daft. And thanks to the guidance of Capt CQ Saint and gaz... the digit has been extracted.

”Keels is clearly, in our eyes, the most naturally gifted footballer in his age group.

”Isaac needed to learn at the start of the year that he needed to pull his finger out.

”And to his credit, he did it which was great.

”We started to see some more consistency in both contests, whether it be an aerial contest or a ruck contest.

”We saw him gut running 30, 40, 60m in games which we hadn’t seen before.

”Credit to gaz (gaz) and CQ (U18 coach Capt CQ Saint) for getting Isaac up around the ground in the ruck and not just leaving him as a forward.” That has certainly helped his football. Isaac going up into the ruck allowed him to be around the contest more often which required him to defend early by tackling and harassing, instead of just waiting for his teammates to give him the ball.

”gaz and CQ were pretty hard on Isaac at the start of the year. To Isaac’s credit – I take my hat off to him – he took that feedback on board. When he came into the State program his training intensity grew and rose to a level it needed to be at and we saw that transfer into his game. He’s matured a lot so I am really proud of him.”
https://sanfl.com.au/draft-pick/isaac-keeler/

Some asked why Keeler dropped so far down the daft order. There's a good reason.

Word is, Capt CQ called-in his old mate Trev from the Boat. And Trev answered the call. Took Paddy K on a little trip, to him get him out of the limelight. Smart move CQ. Smart move Trev.


Trev's a very humorous bloke. And luuurvve that Caddy.


The 2023 hindsight Daft will have Phillipou at number 1. Keeler top 5... at worst.

Once again Saintsational, you heard it here first.

Bassett is a genius.

Amen brother.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a 's')

And as everyone knows we've also brought in our off-field Dream Team. And since we've excised Alfred E Neuman, they'll now even have someone to talk to.

Credit to Prez acted and made some hard decisions

And by popular demand 'Nutgrass' has also been added to Aeon's Ass essment Committee. (No idea why though. )

Unfortunately though, we've been unable to secure HollySEN to work his magic with stats' and cho aching box mood lighting. But, knowing how important cho aching box mood lighting is to Saintsational's new favourite prick (hell, even saynt Nosher is coming around ), HollySEN did setup something for next year. Onya HollySEN!



Just a pity we're still stuck with the The Headless Chook Squib.



Now, to my favourite parts of doing a Fred Report 'Posts of the week', and 'Fred's Mailbag'.

Post of the Weak:

He called our home ground Etihad.

Delist.

I wouldn’t be too worried. I still call it Colonial.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a 's')[

Me....the dome.

I'm still trying to learn how to pronounce Wurundjeri

Give it time, 250 years ago no-one knew how to spell Wurundjeri

Maybe he could have also added that 250 years ago......... no one knew how to spell 'Australia'.

The name Australia is derived from the Latin australis, meaning "southern", and specifically from the hypothetical Terra Australis postulated in pre-modern geography. The name was popularised by the explorer Matthew Flinders from 1804, and it has been in official use since 1817, replacing "New Holland," an English translation of the Dutch name, first given by Abel Tasman in 1643 as the name for the continent.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Name_of_Australia

Oh acid! Love much of your work. Particularly when you lay out in depth the value of various draft trade scenarios for us. tony74 and the rest of the recruiting team are all over it. Satan too. Which is fortunate, because Alfred E Neuman wasn't. All those combinations and possibilities. Just like having a game plan. He just couldn't grasp any of it. Drove him to drink.

(In hindsight, it seems that wRathy was the only one who realised not to talk to Alfred E Neuman about any scenarios with more than the one possible outcome.)

However.
acid.
St Kilda.
The race to for us play finals.

That doesn't seem to be the use of the word 'race' that has you fixated.



Posts of the week:

OK , so that's settled then.

Hunter Clark (with no f****** e) is our no.1 whipping boy now that Gears and Hanners are gone.

Hill will be a close second.

These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a 's')

Coffield
Clarke

They absolutely suck.
Slow as a wet week.

Clarke cannot run to defend to save himself!!!
Stengle ran rings around him last week.

Paton was going ok until he broke his leg.

If these players do not come good next year (injuries or no injuries), then it’s see ya later.

If you are no good by the time you are 23 and consistently getting midfield time and over 20 possessions then you have to go.

Harsh, but bad luck. Keep turning them over.

If you want to heap s*** on a player at least learn how to spell his f****** name.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
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…of the T20 World Cup like that.

Are pro sports players now entirely their own co-operation and immune from a head/leader/coach/media politic etc.

They go their own way, regardless

They sack Langer — the players do! In the review?

They sack Ratts - the players must have known..

I wonder if a figure like Lyon has the charisma and presence to get the players (and their managers, lawyers, accountants, families, buddies in media and on insta and the whole orbit of influencers that surround each player) to get into line?

Imagine Mitch Robinson doing his vlog at training, getting into the face of players and staff, to flog his own ‘brand’. Will Ross stand for it? Would Ross save the Aussie cricket team - so they don’t make excuses saying their tired before a finals series?

they're not f****** their. These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a 's')[

A comma after 'they're' would help the readability.

Embarrassing

Not the sacking, but the resigning when it didn’t need to be done!

We see what you did there.

Ace should be given his permanent ban for his latest racist post.

Calling for someone to be banned used to be a banning offence. Pity if that is not still the case.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
Ryan Bybes (with a 's')

Have to strongly disagree with that sentiment.

Don't want you banned Nosh'. Think about the potential legalistic minefield of how your post could be twisted by some smartarse troublemaking lawyer type.


Fred's Mailbag:

The Toxic Gnome? That'd be the former head of Eugenics, at the Piss n' Poo's Josef Mengele Institute.

(Actual size.)

Daughters of Beaches? For more details, refer to saynt Nosher. But I can say that a former full forward for the female version of the Sons Of Beaches AFL Frankenlovechild team is involved.



Anyway, it's just a (relatively) short update from me this time around. Take care, and I can’t wait to see you at the footy Aeon honey. (And all you other wonderful Saintsational people too. )

Love and Fortius Quo Fidelius,

- Fred.




PS: Sorry. Not much in the way of videos. (Thank gawd, right? ) You'll have to wait and see if Aeon returns to get more videos.

Bassett is a genius.

Amen brother.
These users also thanked the author Nosher for the post:
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Aeon is where the world’s best best thinkers share their insights into issues of central importance to our times. It is reliably the best place to find content that is punchy, insightful, accessible and always unpredictable.

https://aeon.co/
A top read according to saynt Nosher, that our prick Ro$$y, & P666.
(Well, P666 would agree, if, he was literate beyond Grade 3 level. )

Second worst thread ever!

.

[skeptic]

Always a treasure